What you are
by DancingStar01
Summary: Lindsay comes behind her husband s darkest secret.  A post "Regeneration"- Story


Title: What You Are  
Author: DancingStar  
Pairing: Connor/ Lindsay  
Rating: 16  
Spoiler: seven years after "Regeneration"  
A PSI Factor FanFiction: Lindsay comes behind her husband´s darkest secret.  
Notes: There is one part in this story that only works if you have seen the episode once in German: Instead of "I missed you," Lindsay said in the German translation something like "Don´t run away again" to Connor, after she kisses him. Actually I didn´t want to write this story not at all and I have no idea why I did it... : - /  
Guess, what film is being discussed in the dinner scene! :-)  
And as Shakin´ Stevens sang before: Merry Christmas everyone! 

**What you are **

"Where the hell is Peter?", asked Connor and looked around. It was Christmas Day and all his friends were gathered around the large table in the living room of the house in which he lived with his wife Lindsay and his six-year-old daughter Camille. Mia Stone gave a shrug. "No clue, he came with us", she said. They wanted to have dinner and all were just waiting for Peter. Suddenly they heard noises on the roof and Camille jumped up from her chair next to her mother and ran to the window. "Santa!", she cried enthusiastically and looked out. The rumble on the roof was getting louder and now they saw how plastic Santa and his reindeers landed in the snow in front of the house. Camille cried, stepped terrified back and hugged her daddy. And when Peter was hanging in front of their disbelieving faces with his foot in a string of lights and dangling headfirst back and forth, Mia began to laugh.  
"What's he doing on the roof?", asked Connor and went out with Anton to escape Peter from his trap. He told them when he arrived, he had noticed the lighting of Santa Claus didn´t work and he meant it well. So he had climbed onto the roof with a new bulb and wanted to fix it.  
"It´s my job next time," said Connor, "Finally it´s my house. And now go in! We want to have dinner." Connor closed the door behind him and shook his head amused.  
Camille had eaten up more quickly than the adults and because she couldn´t wait, she was allowed unwrap her gift now. Her Mom and Mia watched her. "Do you remember how Camille cried last year when we gave her this doll´s pram?", Mia asked softly and Lindsay nodded. Camille was her pride and joy. She was her only child and she loved her even more. But last year was the worst Christmas of all times and only because Camille had received the wrong gift. But this year they were prepared: Some weeks before Christmas, Lindsay gave her daughter pen and paper and Camille should paint what she wanted for Christmas (She and Connor would never be able to afford the live performance by Hannah Montana in their living room). Then Lindsay gave the wish list to Mia, who had gone off to buy a present in the name of the whole team. Camille was the favorite child of the team and when Mia thought about it, she was also the first child whose parents met at the OSIR. She was the first OSIR-baby, like Claire once said jokingly.  
Claire was also here today. Even Anton had taken time to come. Peter began to sing Christmas Songs without being asked and he didn´t stop. "Shut up, Peter!", Claire cried when she had enough. But Peter sang on and on.  
"Connor, you go out into your backyard and dig a hole while I go into the basement and get something with which we can bring Peter to silence," said Claire.  
"Why do you want to take so much trouble?", asked Mia and took a sip of wine.  
"Should we put him headfirst into the bin?"  
While Claire was talking, everybody else began to talk how to bring this pain in the neck called Peter to silence. "I think I still have some packing tape. We could put it on his mouth", suggested Lindsay and Connor gave her an amusing sight when he heard it. They debated for a while but then they had enough. Peter remembered he better stop singing. Finally, he didn´t want to be evicted out.  
"What do we do after dinner?", he asked suddenly.  
"Are you serious?", Lindsay was shocked, "Today is Camille debut in the ballet company." She beamed as she spoke.  
"Which play do you dance, honey?", Connor wanted to know.  
"We dance _The Nutcracker_."  
"What a pity," Peter rolled his eyes. He wasn´t in the mood for a ballet performance. "I thought we could go to the movies."  
"No!", came immediately from the other end of the table and Lindsay jumped up, "The last movie I watched with you was terrible: He killed her at the end of the film."  
"Because he loved her", said Connor.  
"If he hadn´t done that, she would have destroyed the world", explained Mia and all looked surprised at her, "What? I've also seen the third part! Was that illegal?"  
Lindsay had enough of their discussion. What does everybody here? She said that question out loud and then Peter rolled his eyes. "What about Camille´s ballet performance?"

After the ballet performance in the afternoon and after a cup of egg nog, Lindsay said goodbye to her friends at the doorstep and she had to breathe for a moment. She sent Camille to her room. The whole day had cost her quiet an effort, not to kick out Connor. For her there was nothing worse than to be lied and obviously he had done it so ruthlessly in all the years. She hadn´t noticed before, but last night she had seen something shocking. They lay together in bed and made love. Lindsay had her arms around him, pressed her head against his shoulder and whispered hoarsely in his ear he should finally release her. "Honey," she muttered and drove her nails like wild beast claws into his shoulders. She was ready for him, but when she looked in the mirror over the dresser and saw how the scratches on his back healed within seconds, she was ice cold and she caught her breath. In retrospect, she thought it wrong to give herself to him, but he let her fly with a single motion. So that night Connor didn´t become suspicious.  
She prayed she had only imagined it in the rush of feelings, but in the morning she noticed the blood under her fingernails and then she saw Connor's shoulders were intact, when he got dressed. She realized it was true. The fact these scratch wound healed quickly, was impossible and all of a sudden she felt sick. She didn´t know if she should be scared to death because she knew what he was, or if she should do something else. But what? If she thought about what had happened seven years ago, then fear was the only feeling she remembered. It took a moment for Lindsay to realize, what that fact meant at all: The Connor, who she had known, no longer existed. Instead, this doppelganger in form of the man she loved came into her life...  
She thought more about it and she wanted to know why he hadn´t told her. Why? That was exactly the question she wanted to ask him now. When she came to this...  
"I need to talk to you," she began seriously and Connor looked up from his book, "I know it, Connor. I know what you are."  
He didn´t understand what she meant. "You are one of these. ...", She searched desperately for the perfect word, "You're one of Spurveys super soldiers..."  
Horrified, Connor closed the book and got up from the chair in which he sat. Lindsay went immediately one step back and through his reaction she was convinced she was right.  
"You lied to me," she said, looking at him with tears of rage in her eyes, "For seven years," she went up and down the living room in rage. She wanted to…  
"Lindsay, let me explain..." , he started and ran after her.  
"You don´t even deny it!", she cried and she was suddenly ill, "Stay away from me, you ...!", She didn´t know at the moment what he was, "Stay away from me and my child! Get out of my house!", she yelled.  
"You throw away the last few years?"  
"No, I wish I could undo it," she cried, "Now get out of here!"  
"But ..."  
"I hate you! So get out!"  
Well, he didn´t want go, then she would leave! "Camille, pack your bags! We visit your great- grandma for a few days!"  
"Lindsay, please ...", he grabbed her hands lovingly but she snatched away from his touch.  
"Don´t touch me!", she snapped. Lindsay literally ran out of the room and helped Camille to pack a few clothes. Half an hour later, Connor heard how she threw her and Camille's bag in the car and drove away. Within seconds he had lost control of his life and he wondered what he should do when Lindsay came back from her grandmother. She wanted him to leave. It was obvious it had hurt her so much and she never wanted to see him again. So he took a bag out of the basement, packed up his things and drove away aimlessly. The small, festively decorated house on the outskirts of Toronto was lonely and deserted.

_A star is a star _  
_It doesn´t have to try to shine _  
_Water will fall _  
_A bird just knows how to fly _

_You don´t have to tell how a flower to bloom _  
_Light or how to fill up a room _  
_You already are what you are _  
_And what you are is beautiful _

Connor was on the road for hours now, he had lost navigation long before and for hours he saw nothing but snowed trees, with snow-covered meadows and fields. He coughed. Suddenly the car began to splutter and the engine coughed as well. Now the car was also on strike, it was the last what he needed. Finally the lights flashed one last time and the car stopped. Snow covered the front window immediately, so he couldn´t seen if the storm was worse or better. He wondered if he should get out and start running, perhaps to find a gas station, but he decided he wouldn´t do that. He had his cell phone with him in the car. He would just call the fire department or the breakdown service for help. Connor called the breakdown service and was surprised when he was told it would take eight hours to locate his position.  
"Eight hours," he repeated, as he had hung up. He only hoped the car would stay warm. Not that the heater would have worked well... For a moment he regretted he had gone away from home, but what was he supposed to do? Lindsay revealed what she thought about him and he could even understand it. Connor wouldn´t feel better in her situation. At first he had thought only of his task, of course, but then he had fallen in love with her and hadn´t the heart to disappoint her. He liked it when she smiled at him and he was crazy about the sound of her voice when she assured him how much she loved him. If he had to describe the last seven years with only a single word... He thought for a long time, what word would describe their relationship at best. Many words came to his mind: loving, passionate, romantic. Finally he decided: perfect. She gave him so much. And he had used her and hid the truth for years. In that moment, he hated himself for doing this to her and he vowed he would drive back home and apologize to her, when he was rescued from the cold car. She was the best thing ever happened to him and he couldn´t bear the thought of losing her.

Four hours later, the breakdown service hadn´t arrived and with the final energy of the cell phone, Connor tried his luck with the fire department. The fire department told him the same as the breakdown service hours earlier and tired he put the phone down next to his wallet on the passenger seat. Meanwhile the car was cold and he could already see his breath in the air. He coughed hard. His feet felt like lumps of ice, his fingers as well and he wondered why he had taken no gloves. His head fell exhausted against the back of the car seat. Connor had no idea how long it would take until somebody rushed to help. The car´s digital clock had failed long ago. He breathed in the cool air and it hurt his lungs. Connor had to think of Lindsay. Again... What was she may doing in that moment? Maybe she was worried about him?  
He thought about the moment seven years ago, when she saw him again after so long. She had kissed him and told him he should never leave her again. At that moment he saw in his mind he would marry her and have a lot of small children with her. He was not going to leave her ever again. He had missed her and couldn´t wait to show her how much. Of course it was not his memory but the memories of another person. But the feeling he had felt when he saw her for the first time in this hotel room in Cleveland was real. She was by far the prettiest creature he had ever seen and to hold her felt incredibly great. After they couldn´t help Lilith, Lindsay had taken a break for one weekend and they spent the time together at her uncle´s cottage. At that time it was already snowing in the mountains and for the first time he liked snow.  
When they arrived at the hut, they both couldn´t hold back longer: Lindsay had closed the door, pulled him to her, kissed him hot and seductive and began to undress him. More or less she almost pulled the clothes from his body and smiled at him when he picked her up. Finally they landed before the fire place. To be kissed by her so deeply, was a heady feeling and he wanted more. He wanted to know how she felt and kissed her collarbone when he noticed that tears were running down her face and he stopped. "Love", he was frightened, "Did I hurt you?"  
"No," she shook her head, "No, darling. I'm so glad you're back and with me. I have believed for a long time I would never feel you this way. Don´t stop..." She stretched out for him to kiss him again, threw seductive arms and legs around him. Immediately he felt the heat again and he noticed this longing feeling in his body. He was dizzy, in a pleasant manner. It felt so good. She knew which buttons to push. Then she lay in his arms for a long time and although she was exhausted, she felt relaxed and refreshed as after a three-week vacation. He asked her what she wished most and noticed immediately she didn´t want to tell him. "I want to know," he murmured and kissed her neck tenderly. "No, I cannot," she smiled dreamily and her words were still in his head, "I'm embarrassed." She turned to him and looked at him.  
"I decide," he said.  
"You really want to know?", A short pause and she took a deep breath, "A baby. I want a baby." The result of this confession was that they did it again afterwards. And when the weekend was over, they continued at home. Lindsay's wish was fulfilled: four months later, she found out she was pregnant and she couldn´t hardly keep these news for herself. She kissed Connor in joy and happiness. The day Camille saw the light of the world, he would never forget. Coincidentally, his daughter was also born on the seventh of December, it had snowed a lot that day and there had never been a moment like this. The moment when Camille first looked at him was so incredible. Lindsay looked so happy.  
He should... Yes, what? He had forgotten it completely. Lindsay just needed to look at him, or open her pretty mouth and tell him how much she loved him, he forgot everything around him. And a single look of his child was enough and he swore he would protect this little girl from all evil.  
Horrified, Connor noted he had almost fallen asleep at the thought of his wife and daughter. That wasn´t good! When he fell asleep here in the cold, he might never wake up again. He finally had no idea whether he would survive it. Connor knew injuries healed quickly and he was never sick, but what was with the external influences?  
Tired, he tried to keep alive, but he noted it was almost impossible. He thought again of his wife and daughter when he fell asleep…

Lindsay hated her grandmother when she told her clearly she couldn´t leave Connor because of such a "trifle" (as she called it). Of course, Lindsay couldn´t tell her grandmother the truth, why she wanted Connor to hell, she wouldn´t understand. "Girl, are you beyond help?", asked Lindsay's grandmother horrified, "This is the man after whom you longed for years and then you leave him because he lied to you? With me you cannot stay the night! Go home and talk to your husband! One day you'll be thankful for this advice!", with these words the old Mrs. Donner showed her granddaughter the door. Of course, Lindsay found her grandmother was right a little bit. But at least by her family, Lindsay had hoped for some help. "Thank God I haven´t to talk today to him about it," Lindsay thought sullenly. She had been a few hours with her grandmother and she hoped Connor was already gone sleeping.  
She opened the door quietly. By now it was night and she carried the sleeping Camille to her bed. She closed the door to Camille's room and searched for Connor. As she found out earlier, Connor was not in the living room and kitchen. There was no light in the bathroom, too. So there was only left the first floor of her small, cozy house. In her bedroom, it was also dark, the bed was empty. Lindsay swallowed. Connor was nowhere and she was alarmed. She didn´t know why, but suddenly she went to the cupboard and opened it. His clothes were gone. All of a sudden she realized he had left.  
Almost in panic she ran to the phone to call her friends. It was the middle of the night and she hoped they were not too upset about this late call. As Lindsay hung up, Camille stood behind her in the door and looked at her with wide eyes. Of course she had heard what she said on the phone to Peter in tears. "Mommy, where´s Daddy?", asked Camille.  
"I don´t know, honey. Now go back to your bed." She brought Camille in her room and waited to see what would happen now.  
"What's wrong?", asked Peter when Lindsay opened the front door for him and Anton a little later. Peter informed Anton and picked him up. They didn´t mind it was in the middle of the night. Lindsay sounded terrible on the phone!  
"Connor left."  
"What?"  
"He has packed his bags and drove away. I have no idea where he is."  
Anton also now entered the house. He had heard what Lindsay said. "Why he left?"  
"We have fought," Lindsay admitted, trying to arrange her hair, "About ..." No, she could not tell them. She did not know what they would do to him if they ever saw Connor again. Lindsay couldn´t imagine anything worse than to put him in a laboratory and doing some tests with him. In addition it was not their business why Lindsay was angry.  
"What, if something happened to him?", Lindsay said and wept in despair.  
"What about his credit card statement? Maybe we'll find out, where he is...", Peter suggested and Lindsay blew her nose. She sat down at the laptop and tried to find out on the website of their bank where he had used his credit card last. Because Lindsay couldn´t calm, Peter printed the settlement.  
"Anton, what if something happened to him?", Lindsay asked desperately and she and Anton sat on the couch.  
"Calm down," Anton's voice was very quiet, "How´s Camille?"  
"She... She wants to know where Connor is and why he isn´t here."  
"Are you sure you don´t want tell me why you were angry with him?"  
Lindsay shook her head defiantly and Anton accepted she doesn´t want to talk about it. "He has used his card!", Peter exclaimed triumphantly in the background.  
"It is important," began Anton, "That you calm yourself first. It helps neither you nor Connor, if you go in this condition to find him. Otherwise something to you will happen!"  
"But..."  
"Connor is fine and I think if you explain to him you are sorry, he comes back. Connor loves you."  
"What?"  
Anton was a little bit surprised when she asked him. He had never seen two people who were more in love, as Connor and Lindsay. But he thought he wasn´t in the position to question about them. "Of course Connor loves you. He once said, he couldn´t take his eyes off of you and stop thinking about you." When Anton told her this, she was crying even more. It was all her fault! Connor loved her and she had pushed him away because...  
"Peter, we should go," Anton said softly to his colleagues and Peter put the printed credit card bill on the table. Lindsay was sitting on the couch and tried to calm herself. Fortunately, Camille was in her bed and couldn´t see her that way.  
If what Anton said, was true, something was wrong with Connor. Lilith had lost control in the "age" of three. Meanwhile, the same should have happen to Connor. But he was always a loving husband and father. He was always perfect when he was with her or Camille... Camille also kept asking for him. She had to do something urgently! Lindsay wondered how all these things could happen. After this terrible accident in Russia she had dreamed for three years how it would be to hold him in her arms again and when it finally happened... It was an incredible moment, even if he wasn´t the right Connor, but... she didn´t dare to think of it.  
The moment in which she had him back, was one of the most beautiful moments of her live.  
Lindsay was tired, but she had to think about why she had not noticed it: She had kissed him and asked him to stay with her forever. Then they had tried to help Lilith, but for some reason she had not survived the blood of the original. Lindsay remembered too well how it was when Lilith's body literally exploded after she had protested aggressive against the treatment. Of course Lindsay was disappointed, especially because she had hoped she and Lilith could be something like sisters. But then she remembered she had Connor back again. A feeling, what made her so happy at this moment...  
She fell asleep slowly and she dreamed about the tree that stood in her backyard. One evening, at that time Lindsay was just two months pregnant and they were newly married, Connor scratched with a pocketknife a heart in the bark of the tree. "Lindsay & Connor 4 ever" stood in the middle of the heart and actually she thought it was very sappy. "It doesn´t meet our age," she had giggled, "We aren´t teenagers anymore."  
"With you it feels like that ... I love you."  
"I love you more," said Lindsay in her dream.  
"I don´t think this is possible somehow," Connor smiled at her. The heart in the tree was still there, even if it was sometimes covered by snow in winter and it couldn´t be seen. The next moment a storm surge broke upon her and then she saw, how Connor was caught in a kind of ice cave and tried to escape. The air was cold and he was looking for a way out before everything went dark.  
Lindsay awoke from her sleep. Outside it was still dark and she could hear Camille upstairs, also waking up. She cried for her mother. A rumbling on the stairs told Lindsay that Camille got up and was on her way to her mom. "Mommy, where is Daddy?", asked Camille, when she sat down on the couch next to her mom, "I had a very bad dream. I dreamed Daddy is trapped in an ice cave."  
When Camille told her this, Lindsay began to tremble. She had exactly the same dream. Was this a sign of Connor?  
"Camille, I had the same dream," she told her, "Do you have any idea where Daddy could be?" Connor was caught in a kind of ice cave. It was the only thing she had seen.  
"It must be a pretty cold place," said Camille. But in this season more than half the country was covered with snow. At this moment, Lindsay recalled the fact that Peter printed credit card statement. So she took the settlement from the kitchen table, reading, where Connors credit card was used last. First, 36 Dollars were debited from a gas station a little outside the city. Then after a two hour drive to the east the next debit followed at a gas station in a town which named Belleville. "Wherever does he go?", asked Lindsay, "Camille, you think we should follow Daddy?"  
"Yes," Camille's answer was clear. She missed her daddy and wanted him back.  
"Then get your coat. We drive off."

For nearly two hours Lindsay and Camille were on the road and a little bit worried, Lindsay watched how the snow storm was getting worse. "Mommy, how far is it?", asked Camille. Lindsay took a glimpse on the navigation system. "Five miles," she said. Because of the snow storm they would arrive at their destination a little later than planned. Finally, they reached Belleville. Here Connor had refueled his car. Lindsay thought about how they could search most effectively for Connor and her first intuition lead her to the police station. She asked the Sherriff, whether somebody had seen Connor in the city, he said no. Lindsay asked him to post him as missing and the Sherriff told her it´s possible only in her home, but he would keep his eyes open. Disappointed, she and Camille sat back in the car. It began to dawn and when Camille was hungry they went to a small diner for food.  
Then they went to all gas stations in the area. When they reached the gas station, where her husband refueled his car, she was very disappointed when they told her no one had seen Connor here. "Do you have other employees?", said Lindsay, "Maybe someone else worked here at that time?"  
"Yes, our trainee. But she is sick today."  
"Can you tell me where she lives?"  
"No, unfortunately not", with these words the gas station owner sent Lindsay out and a little bit helpless she drove with Camille to all doctors, shops and restaurants in town to ask for Connor. But no one had seen him. By now it was getting late and it was already dark again.  
"Mommy, I'm tired," Camille complained from the back seat and Lindsay took a deep breath.  
"You're right," she admitted, "I´m tired, too... We're going home."  
The trip to Toronto lasted more hours because they were caught in a traffic jam.  
Lindsay then unlocked the door to her small house and entered with Camille. She closed the door and heard the Christmas wreath, which was hanging outside, fell down with a thud.  
"Go to your room," she said to Camille and the little girl walked up the stairs.  
Lindsay gave up. The police Sherriff in Belleville had said he would keep an eye open for Connor, but…  
With tears in her eyes, she sank against the door and felt like she slipped to the ground.  
She thought she shouldn´t have sent him away. She cried more and more, when suddenly the phone rang. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, got up and answered the phone.  
"Doyle," she said, trying to sound calm.  
Her heart almost stopped when she spoke to Doctor Dupont. Connor had been taken to a hospital in Montreal. She thanked for the call, hung up and decided she had to leave immediately. She had immediately to go to Montreal!  
"Camille!", Lindsay said to her daughter, "Camille! Come! Daddy is in Montreal!"  
Upstairs Lindsay heard a rumbling. Shortly after that her daughter came down the stairs. Suddenly, Lindsay was getting more excited. How far was it to Montreal? How long would it take? Oh God, what if Connor wanted her never to see again...? No, she couldn´t think about it!  
"Camille," she said again. The longer she thought about it, the more nervous she became.  
"Yes, Mommy!", with a bag in her hand Camille ran to the door. Outside, they sat in the car and drove off. When they reached after a two hours' drive Belleville, Camille noted they were here before and her Mommy nodded. Camille asked her if she wasn´t tired, but Lindsay said no. Every minute counted. She just had to know if Connor was fine.

After nearly seven hours of driving they arrived at half past one in the morning at the hospital in Montreal, where Connor was. During the drive, Lindsay asked several times if she was probably quite crazy. Finally, she had hated him because he lied to her. But to endure the emptiness in her house was almost worse. And she couldn´t imagine losing him again. With the sleeping Camille on her arm Lindsay was looking for the doctor, who had called. "Dr. Dupont?" ,she asked, a man in a blue surgical gown, who just spoke to a nurse, raised his head.  
"This is me", he said in a French accent.  
"I´m Lindsay Doyle. We talked on the phone. My husband..."  
The doctor nodded and they started slowly to the room where Connor was. "How is he?", Lindsay sounded worried.  
"It's a wonder he has minor frostbite. He's been for a very long time in the icy car and since his recovery he hasn´t woken up. Mrs. Doyle, we have no idea what his status is, if he wakes up."  
Lindsay nodded, she understood. Meanwhile, she and the doctor had arrived before the room in which Connor was. Through a window she could see how he slept and he looked rather pale. On his thumb he wore a medical appliance what should measure and monitor the heart rate. Lindsay got sick when she saw him in this condition. She thought it would never have happen if she hadn´t sent him away. On the other hand, Connor had never been injured and he was never sick. She hoped he would get well without permanent damage.  
"Can I stay with husband for a while?", she asked, the doctor nodded. He left her alone and with the sleeping Camille on her arm, she entered the room. She put her daughter into bed next to him and sat on a chair, reached for his hand. His skin felt cold and unlike the other fingers, his middle finger was discolored green.  
She stayed until late at night, thinking about how it should go now. If she wasn´t in love with him, she thought, she wouldn´t even come here. At home she almost died in worry about him. Not to know how he was, made her sick. She didn't care anymore if he was the "real" Connor, or not. In the last seven years, she had fallen in love with him. And finally they had a child! They had an awesome, small and normal girl! Camille had fallen down as little child so often and she sometime came home with bloody knees when she played with friends on the playground. In this regard, she had nothing of her father. In the last few hours she had asked herself if Camille was a normal kid, but she was sure everything was fine with her.  
Camille was next to her Dad, still asleep, and Lindsay could not help it. She took Connors arm and put it to Camille's shoulders.  
She noticed how tired she was and certainly Connor wouldn´t mind if she would fall asleep to him.

When he awoke, he felt something was on his shoulder. Exhausted, he opened his eyes and looked up. First he saw in a corner of the room a plastic Christmas tree then he noticed the strange machines in the dimly lit room. In a cabinet next to the door, was some medicine. Apparently he was in a hospital, Lindsay laid right next to him. Her head rested on his shoulder and she had placed his arm around her waist. In his left arm was Camille, who slept well. They were here! They came to him! For a moment, Connor thought he would never see them again.  
Connor tried to shift his weight so he could get up but Lindsay was already awake. "Connor?", also confused she opened her eyes and when she registered he was awake, a smile crossed her face. She could not resist, she had to kiss him. She was so relieved he was fine.  
At first Connor was surprised because she kissed him and he wondered if she perhaps had forgiven him. A soft "I love you" and an even more intimate kiss confirmed his suspicions and finally she broke away from him. "You scarred me half to death", Lindsay tried not to sound too reproachfully, "Don´t do this again... Why did you leave?"  
"Because you said so."  
"Connor, I ..." she shook her head, "I've been thinking. Many things shouldn´t have been said… I had terrible nightmares and I was so afraid I would never see you again... and when you've told me the truth, I was so disappointed and angry. Connor, why didn´t happen the same to you? I mean, Lilith lost control and you…"  
"Because something happened, what no one could have foreseen: I've fallen in love with you. I didn´t even need the memories of...", he could not say it, "I can understand if you want me to leave. If you want, I sign the divorce papers... ", Connor tried to sound calm.  
"Please come back home with me."  
"What?", he asked. She wanted him to come home again?  
"Haven´t you listened to me? I told you I love you and I love you the way you are. Please come back home with me and Camille", Lindsay whispered.  
A smile crossed his face and he raised his hand to caress her cheek. Their lips met for a tentative kiss, when they suddenly heard steps on the floor.  
"Who is that?"  
"The Night Nurse," said his wife, "Act as if you are sleeping. When she realizes you are awake, I must leave."  
The nurse on her notepad scribbled one minute later, Connor Doyle was still asleep. When they were sure the nurse had left, he laughed softly and kissed his wife again. He was looking forward to hug his daughter tomorrow morning, when she was awake and he was also looking forward to going home even more.

_I'd have to tell myself _  
_"In every scene there's a perfect plan" _  
_Everything I hoped to be _  
_I already am _

_A flower is a flower _  
_It doesn´t have to try to bloom _  
_And light is light _  
_Just knows how to fill a room _

_And dark is dark _  
_So the stars have a place to shine _  
_The tide goes out _  
_So it can come back another time _

_Goodbye makes a love so sweet _  
_And love is love so it can teach us _  
_We already are what we are _  
_And what we are is beautiful _

Fin


End file.
